• ♥ Is he the one?
• ♥ Why do I keep attracting losers?
• ♥ Is anyone looking for love anymore?
• ♥ Am I the problem?
• ♥ Should I settle for the one who loves me more than I love him?
• ♥ Are all the good ones taken or gay?

If you’re anything like me, being single may have gone from being this fun ride on a rollercoaster of possibility, to feeling like your stomach has turned over. After being single for nearly 30 years, I, myself, began to ask all of the above mentioned questions… and THEN some! …and untactfully, even, to the person in question. It got bad. Really bad. It got, “well maybe his propensity to spit-talking isn’t thatbad afterall” sort of bad.

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Better at what, you ask? Better at answering these questions for myself! Better at not waiting for someone else to define how love should and could look for me. Better at not being in the passively-waiting-for-my-prince-charming damsel in disgust stance while wondering if someone wonderful was going to pick me. I got better at choosing, better at being, and better at dating! …and eventually, I found love…. AND A RING!!!

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…and you can, too!

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How do I know? Because love and relationships are about both parties involved. Both have the power to determine how the love feels and how far it goes and, accordingly, both have the power to determine how long you keep the course, where things lead, and when to get off! The problem with us gals is that we always wait for the man to choose. Which sounds all sort of macho and romantic, but, isn’t this your relationship, too? You may not be the one getting down on one knee, but you can certainly be the one who “encourages” the gesture!

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HOW???

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Well, that is why I have created this website complete with the ability to mail me questions to which I publish and answer in newsletters and on THIS website, as well as an ebook full of tips and techniques that I used to reel in my Romeo!

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My ebook is based upon FOUR years of blogging and journaling my dating experience. As a blogger, I spearheaded dating experiments, tested my dating theories, and reported the results. I kept this information, as well as the journaling that no one has seen in the 3 years I’ve been married. I have been the go-to girl for my girlfriends for years as a result, but now I am opening myself up to more than just my immediate circle.

The Case of the Multiple Female Friends Guy

Cyndi is struggling with a boyfriend  who has far too many female friends. She writes:

Dear Emme,

One of the issues I’ve been dealing with lately is centered around my boyfriend and his female friends. What are your thoughts around boundaries that need to be in place in order for them to not interfere with our relationship? My boyfriend doesn’t seem to get it when I try to break it down to him. In his mind, they are just like his male friends, even when he knows that a few of them have liked him in the past. I especially want your opinion being that you are very much like me…but married! 

Thanks Emme!

Cyndi — from Chicago

My response to Cyndi:

Dear Cyndi,

YES, we must be very similar because I had that SAME problem with an ex!!

As for what to do: it is sort of complicated. We’ve all heard the old adage that men and women of a certain age can never be just friends. While I totally disagree with this, I do agree that there is a natural attraction that is exchanged–with any friend, no matter the gender–that keeps us feeling close to that person. Consequently, an extensive number of opposite sex friends would naturally cause one to wonder what sort of attraction keeps him close to the opposite sex more so than his guy friends. Could he be feed off the reminder and reassurance that he is enchanting, admired, desired, relevant, and in a position of “power” per se? Perhaps. Or, maybe he just finds himself able to relate more to women.

What I would suggest is making an effort to invite the female friends out sometime, see how they behave around him, how he responds to them, and how either responds to your presence as his leading lady. Observe if it is a genuine sister-brother relationship, or a masked co-dependency. The attachment they have would be apparent in some way after a while, and you will know the intensity of the problem (if there is one to begin with). You will, then, be able to decide if it is something you can deal with. But trying to forge a wedge between him and valued relationships will sooner make you appear to be more insecure/jealous than valid, and likely sabotage your relationship due to a relationship that may, or may not, be relevant.

In my ebook, Dating the MVP of your League, I discuss the power of “leaning back.” Instead of making the issue a recurring topic in which YOU try convincing HIM of what you need, opt instead to allow him to put in the effort to convince YOU that he wants to provide for your needs. Leaning back will put you in a negotiating position in which your confidence, patience, and subtle lure will make him feel the need to check in and check up. This tactic, in conjunction with my Pull Theory, will put you in a position where you have him focused on you well enough that the women in his life will become the ones asking questions, instead of you…. just as it should be!

Hope this byte helps!

Best,

Emme

 

Finding yourself in a similar situation?? Get the full eBook, detailing both the “leaning back” technique and my Pull Theory, and you will find yourself feeling more in control than ever you did feel when you were the one asking all the questions and making calls and texts that made you feel insecure instead of empowered! Regain control of your dating life by chewing as much as you can byte!! …and let my ebook give you all the tips you need to do just that!

For me, dating was all kinds of confusing! Of course, I ran into my share of bozos, players in Romeo clothing, and more! But, more than anything, I ran into men who claimed affection for me that I simply found hard to believe. I either found it difficult to believe that some great guy could really feel so strongly for me (so I sabotaged the relationship), or I felt that I just wasn’t into the guy enough to be able to return the affection he expressed (so…. I… sabotaged the relationship).

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The truth is, after dating for about half my life, I just didn’t know what I wanted. And letting someone else choose what that was, even if the someone did appear to be a Romeo, frightened me! I went from worrying that I’d be chosen as a bride someday, to worrying that I’d be chosen by the wrong guy as a bride… and then live the next 72 days of our marriage (Kardashian pun intended) in regret! So, one of my dating experiments was centered around self-promotion. It was about working my way, and my confidence, up the throngs of dating hierarchy until I found myself no longer being selected by the guys who wanted me… but by the guys that I wanted!

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In my first ebook, “How to Date the MVP of Your League,” I will talk about just that!

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While we all hate to believe that there are leagues within which we date, subconsciously we do tend to allow ourselves to believe that a guy is either in or out of range for us. In my book, I talk about applying one of my most used and recommended theories, The Pull Theory, to subtly lure the guy of your dreams! How to make him notice you without ever becoming the aggressor; and how to apply other techniques, such as “leaning back” to get him to realize that you are the girl he wants.

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The book is scheduled for release in early Spring, but in the meantime, I will keep you informed with blog updates, newsletters, and excerpts from the book. In addition, you are welcome to write me your questions and gain my response about these theories and just general concerns!

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START BY JOINING MY MAILING LIST!!!!

I will email you an occassional newsletter with more tips and forthcoming content that can help you build your confidence and success so that you can regain control of YOUR love life by chewing as much as you can BYTE!

Send me a letter describing your issue or concern, and I will respond with my personal advice to you. Do so and your post may be featured HERE on my website for others to see and respond–allowing you to hear the ideas and experiences of others who may also be dealing through a similar situation.